Am I caving in? More like triple-deluxe slipping, getting back up, falling, getting back up, and then repeat
Lately, life has been a series of trials, its intensity increasing ever since the month I want to say-March of this year.
The bulk of my middle school to onward life though-one of my coping mechanisms for responding to things that are not that healthy.
And although I have gotten stronger in my faith and for sure my character....and strong confidence that I've been embedding truths (**I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me **No weapon formed against me will prosper but whatsoever I do shall prosper) along progress where I lessen the amount of me comparing myself to others coupled with a neutral somewhat the standard for what women do to cope with emotions-emotional eating. It seems everytime I backslide, regress, I am feeling discourged or experiencing feeling polar opposite of "victorious".
Pfft.
Psalms 84 has constantly been knocking on my head to meditate, Yes, Am I hammering....the "lecture" style to address my conflict? Not exactly. In verse 9, "O God, look with favor upon the king, our shield! Show favor for the one your annoited." is showing the power of God, worthy of our praise and how our requests and our supplications made towards God is never without God's therapeutic and witnessing this which makes the person struggling or for me in this case to feel like we "are heard" and some instances not without God's intercession. Moving on to verse 10 with "A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else. I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God" which is used to praise God. You see being reminded just to feed my ego is not enough, ingraining this into my heart and BELIEVING it is essential, and in turn one will become grounded in truth during times of anytime or during tough times. Furthermore, on verse 11 first portion "For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory" [pause] so don't you see God is always on our side? even when some of time or this interminable circumstance is filled with a trial where the ending or the other side is unseen I just love how in this verse "glory" is paired with "grace". There isn't one without the other. second portion " The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right" end of verse 11 [pause] Do you have permission to disagree? Of course. But the reward that comes with obedience towards God is far greater than letting everything get the best of you, making one utterly discouraged causing one to reject Christ their entire lives and therefore disobeying God. If we finish up with verse 12 "O Lord of heaven's armies, what joy for those who trust in you" [pause] wraps up these set of verses (9-12) with praising God again.
Scripture will depict where you have to take a stance, to either be confused, compliant, maybe even complacent at where you are , like a luke-warm Christian, infuriated (my heart goes out for the lost) or to be engrossed at it, keeping in step with the constant fellowshiping or insistent accountability causing one to devour the bible and actually be transformed by the reading of the Bible.
And it was just yesterday that I regressed and felt like I failed. From both those areas.
GOD IS SO MUCH GREATER than the failures that I made. Crimes that I've, I used to, I will make in my heart, my successes that I made, success measurement from the number of accolades that I earned, and as well as the sin(s) that I'm struggling. That being said, That's to say that we will no longer accompany the repetivie bad patterns and be stuck just like a comparison of a pig being stuck in a mudslide- Therefore dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do, Romans 6:12
For the new lens now, we see a very loving God, we see the density of his grace. For instance whenever I'm struggling, on my knees tearing up. When we are humbling talking to God when a circumstance has knocked the wind out of us. We see feeling guilty, shame, as a pathetic attempt that proves as an unjustifiable excuse to say to God that "no its not finished" , "no God I've not been forgiven and can't love myself " although its the complete opposite. When we-bearers of the image of God- love ourselves, (also internalizing and live it out by the transformed of reading the word, we can finally stop comparing ourselves to others -Pay attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct , Galatians 6:4-5.
I want you to also be set free from whatever circumstance is feeling you in chains. How else can we be a conduit of God to use us to witness to people, and to build towards God's kingdom? I want to end this post with the following scripture-
But those who die in the Lord will
live,
their bodies will rise again!
Those who sleep in
the earth
will rise up and sing for joy!
For your life-giving light will fall like dew
on your people in the place of the dead!
- Isaiah 26:19
No comments:
Post a Comment