-✓names have been changed other than __church cities__ for intending purposes of confidentiality
A fellowship in Davie and I had (using my strength) had fallen out). In fact I had written an unpleasant letter to the Pastor and his wife. Raffy and Beatrice.
I repented one way sided (to Jesus)back in 2015.
But as God would have it, led me I had reconnected to Beatrice and Raffy through a brother in Christ[Steven](blessing with another blessing), who actually serves a deacon role at his church ,over in Starbucks in Davie( even when I stopped living there) and updated me life(uh do you keep in contact with the cult ?[backstory: the cult knew of Pastor Raffy and Beatrice, served alongside (in Ft Lauderdale mega church and then again via Christ the Rock) and then created tension and then more actions and without reaching any more reconciliating had broached on an impassee]. Doors Closed and these two "clusters" stopped interacting with each other. Neither paid homage to another.
Out of confusion and what seemed desperation, I decided to believe what the cult had rumored of this Beatrice and Raffy and denied every facet of Christianity and stuck with them(cult) until the cult co-founder kicked me out.
Steven during this run in with him, offered to reconnect me to his wife[Claudia ](wow they are married compared to when I fellowship last integrated haha time flies). The walls that another cult had said (these two people were evil) all crumbled. I was going against my selfishness and took responsibility for the present. I started going to their(don't confuse with the cult) newly Bible study on some Fri for young Adults and really taking in their annoiting of their leading. I participated and began (not how I was in the past) , be transparent.
I was having undeserving grace with this sister in Christ -Claudia(you wouldn't believe how I deceived I was with still being embedded the slander from this cult.) We met up to catch up beyond the young adult fellowship . She offered to give me Beatrice's info since I brought her and Raffy up.
2 weeks later even I asked Claudia for Beatrice's info-
Then all tracks screeched.
Beatrice had gently reminded Claudia that I wrote a nasty letter making all these false accusations (I blocked the memory )
but saying (the way Claudia delivered has seemed it was preemptive and would stem to some sort of catty knock drag and down scene) stuff that I quoted from the cult...serving literal feet on the platter.)
It was true, I did that.
My gut self collapsed, I needed that push comes to shove how my behavior affected others** What made this even more (emotions more intensified is that I caused beef with my Jamaican fam and esp the best friend and I haven't been normal)
I instantly was promising Claudia I would make amends to Beatrice and Raffy concerning the inappropriate of my behavior.
Fast fwd, reconcilation happened(this week). And what made me bend over joy was the words of Beatrice saying:" Lets not drag the past of guilt," Raffy and I have forgiven you long time ago, we hoped and prayed that you would let God discern that the influence circles was harming your spiritual health"
Then Beatrice continued "I told Claudia to tell you we can reconnect but it may come out of tension format but it wasn't to condemn you...it was to search where your heart is and it's visible that God has impacted and grow in you. But thank you for your apology"
It was awesome to hear that from her. Moreover, I got to experience God's redemption.And experience healing from her side . We went bowling (I really knew just Beatrice, Steven, and Raffy and claudia) but with their new church that they had launched for God's kingdom. And dang, Raffy and claudia's three children had grown (3 yrs) so much since I have seen them. It was fun and great.
I remember to also go to Pastor Raffy(I didn't need to I told his wifey Beatrice of my apology) and apologize in person. He was like "it's okay"
"I don't remember too much from the letter and all I remember is that you were freaking out on certain unverified ideas and wisdom from the preaching"
After that I caught him up on being a member Church and how God's working in my life, and we even had some laughs! Love you
I'm imperfect. I have issues, but practically speaking we all have issues, aren't perfect, and if you ever so decide to deny yourself, you can let Jesus be the driver of your life and whoa, experience not so ordinary journey.
Most will be led instant blessing. And true life changes by the fruit but there is a price, denying things that are known as crutches (big bucks[exceptions are people who made it to that level of inheritance with extreme frugal and putting money towards stocks and all]; fear of other people's opinions ; conventional street drugs; constant alcohol, dating as in the "sewing oats edition" dating). Because of the fundamental hunger be satiated, the bottom line is that price and God's unique standards he requires of us leads to fruitful growth and an eternal comfort. It guards into a steep tunnel inside of us as out of this shaven emit our character -for what it is...strength , optimism- and shines.
May those to call beyond the brokenness and live neck high for the cross sake be revived by for glory.
***There is going to be a prologe to this where the memorobilia and greater context of fellowship hopping stems from my church when I moved back home and started attending -as my sister hinted to check out- Christ the Rock. From Feb 2013.
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