Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Nope..all is not fair in love and war..hashtag much? #anecdote
Flashback mode: 3..2...................1, GO!
I was in Kindergarten, and I was actually really awkward. And I happen to have like this optical impairment (not pink eye but the unusually swelling of that). I remember being happy that day that I got to take some absence in the day.
What also happened (I didn't wear spectacles till I was in seventh grade FUN fact) is that my mom has this mythological yet psychological use for simple-thinner than yarn-string is to tight on both hands on the middle finger. This on her end, would prevent me from seeing the optometrist. This would prevent from buying Western eye drops, and to possibly take other measures such as pills. And right then as 5 hours passed the pain subsided. But my mom's mission to take me to school wasn't. She always (well my dad too) stressed that education was a must, even when I was out sick. So literally one hour before dismissal in elementary school she does some mind-games (we will go to chuck n cheese mom?!?) and stuck me, strapped me using seatbelt on the back seat. As soon as the car approached school grounds this was my convo (best from what I remember) with mother and I
"Okay Alison, time for you to go to school" Mom had said-
"Mom? Why are we in front of the school?" I asked.
"School bell had not end: now go on-" Mom replied. What she meant was that school hours had not ended, yet she stood adamant that I go to school now-
We had gotten off the car (my mom brought my four year old sister) and again I was pleading to my mom
"Mommy I don't want to go, why do I need to" I asked, this time exasperatedly & this time I was tugging on my mom's shirt, my sister being curious, just started mirroring me and subtly mimicking me, and again the shirt was being tugged more and more out of place.
I just started tearing up (didn't I have some sort of eye problem to being with?) and without a moment's pause I got redirected to my very own kindergarten class/classroom.
"Well Alison: it's almost time for school to end, but off you go," says my Kindergarten teacher (I don't know how to spell her name-Mrs. Kaufman) & gestures me to the classmate crowd pool. My mom and sis said their goodbyes.
45 minutes later
School ends and I meet my mom-a stay at home working mother-at the parent pickup/drop off area & my mom has this huge grin widenening into this smile saying, "Hi Alison, you're done, all there is to it"
Grumpy five year old me just sulks and whatnot
And nope I didn't get to go to Chuck n cheese that day..
-THE END-
note: this post was solely for entertainment purposes
Friday, April 21, 2017
do we constantly endure our vows towards God aka our vows 'get' [tested]?
So I pose the question as my title line, but I truly have an innersoul warrant testament of share:
okay-
So honestly some, if not-plenty, come from broken homes, I am a living proof of one, in fact.
And in my household, if things didn't get my way, I didn't necessarily pout: hahaha people just plainly do that as I just interact
with people more & more.
But what I would do is not as pleasing/susceptible to much heartbreak though, I would basically taunt my family members, until one of them would start in turn, trivialize my unspoken basic needs & afterwards a hellstorm (yes, I said it), would ensue:
AND if that wasn't enough, I would start making sexual innuendos towards my parent(s); such as if you just have such a blast wrecking one's admiring of the present/being in the present. Snarky, sarcasm, sassiness, just ruled my aura.
And as you may *light chuckle* to this dilemma, what may not be a reflection that dawned on me is that, sometimes God needs to put us through things like this because to dispel the sins that in our hearts but to deter our reliance on our personal strength(s) & have us completely & truly rely on God. It is within this moment that I needed to see [for reasons God hasn't revealed yet] that God will intentionally withhold grace. It is that much potent in that real time moment to just declare In Jesus Name that mercy starts right now. Yes. It's that innate that God tells us, but for me, when I'm in the storm I ignore it.
What I'm mainly doing-you think I'm preaching to the quire eh- is really preaching to myself. And that is when the storms are up-and-coming, it is right then and there I need to get on my knees and pray that this time shall soon come to pass -and- Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. And really just walk through the fire. And truth be told. It is way easier said than done.
Will some have a lot of burdens in this lifetime? Yes. Will certain(if they don't address their own personal sin #accountability)sins --> be contagious even through social support group? Yes. But we need to look at Jesus ultimately has suffered even to the point of death. Such a tragedy, but relieving is that Jesus purchased for (whom ever shall believe/believed in him) so that our reluctant fate of lake of fire as well as condemnation...on heaven and on earth. Please rest in Him.
Feel free to comment below: I would love to hear your thoughts on pain & suffering & other related
subject matter. You also can subscribe & hey feel free to '+1' this article.
Thank you!!
okay-
So honestly some, if not-plenty, come from broken homes, I am a living proof of one, in fact.
And in my household, if things didn't get my way, I didn't necessarily pout: hahaha people just plainly do that as I just interact
with people more & more.
But what I would do is not as pleasing/susceptible to much heartbreak though, I would basically taunt my family members, until one of them would start in turn, trivialize my unspoken basic needs & afterwards a hellstorm (yes, I said it), would ensue:
AND if that wasn't enough, I would start making sexual innuendos towards my parent(s); such as if you just have such a blast wrecking one's admiring of the present/being in the present. Snarky, sarcasm, sassiness, just ruled my aura.
And as you may *light chuckle* to this dilemma, what may not be a reflection that dawned on me is that, sometimes God needs to put us through things like this because to dispel the sins that in our hearts but to deter our reliance on our personal strength(s) & have us completely & truly rely on God. It is within this moment that I needed to see [for reasons God hasn't revealed yet] that God will intentionally withhold grace. It is that much potent in that real time moment to just declare In Jesus Name that mercy starts right now. Yes. It's that innate that God tells us, but for me, when I'm in the storm I ignore it.
What I'm mainly doing-you think I'm preaching to the quire eh- is really preaching to myself. And that is when the storms are up-and-coming, it is right then and there I need to get on my knees and pray that this time shall soon come to pass -and- Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. And really just walk through the fire. And truth be told. It is way easier said than done.
Will some have a lot of burdens in this lifetime? Yes. Will certain(if they don't address their own personal sin #accountability)sins --> be contagious even through social support group? Yes. But we need to look at Jesus ultimately has suffered even to the point of death. Such a tragedy, but relieving is that Jesus purchased for (whom ever shall believe/believed in him) so that our reluctant fate of lake of fire as well as condemnation...on heaven and on earth. Please rest in Him.
Feel free to comment below: I would love to hear your thoughts on pain & suffering & other related
subject matter. You also can subscribe & hey feel free to '+1' this article.
Thank you!!
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
(: Book Haul: inspired from bulletproof storms and tribulations #lad #kiddo #shewolf
Cheers guys!
So I have some literature that I would like to share with you all. It's helped me with some rough times (and the good too). Results may vary and read at your own risk~
How I will present these is in alphabetical order of the lit, I read this actually circa august of last year, and didn't really end till about March 2017. Two of them are books, while one of them is a pdf you may download online.
W/o further ado, here we go-
The first book (of total two) is called How to find selfless joy in a Me-centered World. The link to this (URL) would be this http://amzn.to/2nKyQxC:
The book is great, I actually got this back in 2014 & would only do selective reading to the topics that I would see fit in accordance to my daily struggles. Not the best idea lol. My Christian sister decided to gift me with this & I'm glad she did. Leslie Vernick is not only a known author in the Chrsitian circles but one of her other books, alludes me to other familiar authors such as Nancy DeLeigh Mossauthor of Lies Women believe. If you also need a light heart-read compared to Charles Spurgeon, this book is for you.
This other format-second one- is "handout for high school youth group" by Francis Chan. How this is broken up is each handout resembles each week for a total of four weeks. And honestly by the 3/4 pacing progress in week 2, I was snoring. That was encouraging, but the chunks inevitably didn't fit the multi-faceted persona learning style that I have & so I had to cut ties with it. This one may also be saved in my google drive (which now I regret). That being said, his books, such as Crazy love is so good. This literature handout though is thumbs down. Sorry not sorry.
Moreover, the last book in this haul would be Lead Small by Reggie & and 1 other. SGL essentially stands for Small Group Leader. I was required to read this book upon serving in the children's ministry in Calvary Chapel Boca Raton location in Boca Raton FL. (slight tangent, but this church is a local branch off from the satellite broadcasted church of Calvary chapel of the Fort Lauderdale location). This book is profoundly one of the inspiring books I've have ever read. Plus it's so parent friendly-I wouldn't have imagined. I highly recommend this book. This is also really good if you may happen to deal with charismatic & highly skilled yet suffocating small group leaders and you are considering to take up a team leader slot somewhere (hopefully in your local church). I attest to y'all that this book boosted my dependence on God, which made me cherish the intimacy I had with God. It really made me see where the kids ultimate potential,& only God can harness only to be unleashed with the gift they serve to the world, which of course utilizing the mentality by that child; that he/she fits the mold in God's image to foster soaring such wings. The link to SGL is here : https://www.amazon.com/Lead-Small-Reggie-Joiner-ebook/dp/B00GMOET32
Enjoy them or some:
Ali L
So I have some literature that I would like to share with you all. It's helped me with some rough times (and the good too). Results may vary and read at your own risk~
How I will present these is in alphabetical order of the lit, I read this actually circa august of last year, and didn't really end till about March 2017. Two of them are books, while one of them is a pdf you may download online.
W/o further ado, here we go-
The first book (of total two) is called How to find selfless joy in a Me-centered World. The link to this (URL) would be this http://amzn.to/2nKyQxC:
The book is great, I actually got this back in 2014 & would only do selective reading to the topics that I would see fit in accordance to my daily struggles. Not the best idea lol. My Christian sister decided to gift me with this & I'm glad she did. Leslie Vernick is not only a known author in the Chrsitian circles but one of her other books, alludes me to other familiar authors such as Nancy DeLeigh Mossauthor of Lies Women believe. If you also need a light heart-read compared to Charles Spurgeon, this book is for you.
This other format-second one- is "handout for high school youth group" by Francis Chan. How this is broken up is each handout resembles each week for a total of four weeks. And honestly by the 3/4 pacing progress in week 2, I was snoring. That was encouraging, but the chunks inevitably didn't fit the multi-faceted persona learning style that I have & so I had to cut ties with it. This one may also be saved in my google drive (which now I regret). That being said, his books, such as Crazy love is so good. This literature handout though is thumbs down. Sorry not sorry.
Moreover, the last book in this haul would be Lead Small by Reggie & and 1 other. SGL essentially stands for Small Group Leader. I was required to read this book upon serving in the children's ministry in Calvary Chapel Boca Raton location in Boca Raton FL. (slight tangent, but this church is a local branch off from the satellite broadcasted church of Calvary chapel of the Fort Lauderdale location). This book is profoundly one of the inspiring books I've have ever read. Plus it's so parent friendly-I wouldn't have imagined. I highly recommend this book. This is also really good if you may happen to deal with charismatic & highly skilled yet suffocating small group leaders and you are considering to take up a team leader slot somewhere (hopefully in your local church). I attest to y'all that this book boosted my dependence on God, which made me cherish the intimacy I had with God. It really made me see where the kids ultimate potential,& only God can harness only to be unleashed with the gift they serve to the world, which of course utilizing the mentality by that child; that he/she fits the mold in God's image to foster soaring such wings. The link to SGL is here : https://www.amazon.com/Lead-Small-Reggie-Joiner-ebook/dp/B00GMOET32
Enjoy them or some:
Ali L
Friday, February 17, 2017
UPDATES
Stay tuned for my for Nov2016-Feb2017 book / handout haul ft. Leslie Vernick and Francis Chan and 1 other(s)~
But meanwhile I have a quote by J.J. Packer for appetizer (metaphor)
"If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God's child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all....Our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption." Packer, Knowing God, 201-2
But meanwhile I have a quote by J.J. Packer for appetizer (metaphor)
"If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God's child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all....Our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption." Packer, Knowing God, 201-2
Sunsets don't get much better than this one over @GrandTetonNPS. #nature #sunset pic.twitter.com/YuKy2rcjyU
— US Dept of Interior (@Interior) May 5, 2014
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Monday, September 5, 2016
PHEW! finally approached the two week mark (school-wise) [unedited]
Wow! I really like FAU...sure there has been multitude of unforeseen of bad incidences, but overall- I've been thriving here.
Auditions were hard, and unfortunately didn't get into those (pray that I get in next semester, or just minor in commercial music). Lol does this make me an awful person I'm trying to kiss up to the piano assistant professor? (who denied me)-so talented as taught in University of Miami frost music school whoo hoo and trying to see her performance on piano sept 17 so she will see favor in me at my core (she said something that I am talented and passionate in wanting to pursue this but something in the errors in the memorization section of the pieces). I think IT'S controversial (I must not lean on my own understand but lean on God for understanding) but also good to put one's best foot forward.
Pls excuse the laundry list format, everything in my brain is just so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so difficult to unclutter lately..
Homesick. I Visit Davie Often.
Joined A Music Ensemble. #tbttotheoledaysofplayingflute #piccolo #goowls(Fau)
Roommate is fine; she is quiet like me LOL. Thankfully we both commute to work /both have cars tho I couldn't care less if she didn't she could hitch rides with me(turnoff for me personally is someone who is undisciplined and in general anyone who projects himself/herself as clingy person) and have our social lives outside of each other- we get along. WE just coexist, and that's fine;; hehe what about the suitemates you ask? well *sighs* that's another story and that's outside my locus of control.
Aye change is so damn hard.. I don't like also that I keep taking on (all simultaneously) commitments and then dropping them. (serving, joining extracurricular student government like o'le high school days, stopping violin lessons by paying my last installment of violin lessons with my teacher, not showing up to group lessons, vowing to work on hair maintenance and then failing haha, controlling acne on my face). I have called a break from my piano student but still haven't followed up with her..and she's patient ( and s/o to the myer(s) both the student and tiger mom love you..)
Been full time student until yesterday, I was stressed out, so now I'm 3/4 time student.
Guiding the other employees(not manager nor boss but a "trainer") like what a leader does...if you don't know what "leader means" you encouraged to look it up in the "webster's dictionary" or "webster online" pretty fine considering that I lowered the frequency I show up to work since it's far from school and so busy with school.
Humility, confused but rebuked on the definition of that God has been showing me a great deal of it. And refining the concept of that. Praise God.
And also there has been a hole in my heart, I haven't felt this numb since my relationship (breakup I mean) with my ex 2013.
I Have A Block of scripture to encourage with y'all and it's something that God is reinforcing In My Depths Of Brokenness:
"v.16 but the face of the Lord is against those who is evil, to blot out their name from the Earth v17 the righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles v18 The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
-Psalms 34:16-18 NIV
Let's take a look at this. Keywords "to blot out their" "against" "delivers" "all their troubles" "in spirit", these are words given to the believer who is on his walk (however long and is going through trials-may I even interject and say, that this may imply that this is "treacherous" and "muddy" but the keywords I pulled out from this scripture that the believer never ever lost his/her "salvation" and is in Christ...nothing that God's children does can ever pull him/her away from God as long as they had that authentic holy spirit to begin with. Anyway let's take a look at the commentary: they offered that with the hardships and struggle one was going through its none in comparison (the length of duration) of the arrival of the ultimate destination-"heaven". The bible character in verse 16 is also heavily coming upon "discontentment"..and the the facial expression is very evident on his face. And the commentary's mention of "nigh" must be referring to the followup of the moment of truth despite the crushed state of the bible character--> product is the believer (God's child) humility being taken under dock to God's hands. The commentary continues and says "God's providence" is moving towards the people (holy spirit believers) whose obedience that naturally outflows from the "crushed spirits's will in long-run be blessed. THE hard trying times that comes with the long race in honoring and following Jesus propels us to give up, YET as we die to ourselves and surrender ourselves to his will we are operating in to God's glory/see his glory unfold itself and doing our job equipping in his kingdom. I tip my hat off to you, thank you for striving to live your lives like Christ. I also tip my off to those who haven't been saved because I want to.
The key is this, whatever you are going through, do not lose hope- Phillippians 2:14-15 "Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people."
references (MLA):
Biblegateway. 2015. Web. Accessed 05 Sept 2016.
.
BibleHub. 2004 Web. Accessed 05 Sept 2016
.
Auditions were hard, and unfortunately didn't get into those (pray that I get in next semester, or just minor in commercial music). Lol does this make me an awful person I'm trying to kiss up to the piano assistant professor? (who denied me)-so talented as taught in University of Miami frost music school whoo hoo and trying to see her performance on piano sept 17 so she will see favor in me at my core (she said something that I am talented and passionate in wanting to pursue this but something in the errors in the memorization section of the pieces). I think IT'S controversial (I must not lean on my own understand but lean on God for understanding) but also good to put one's best foot forward.
Pls excuse the laundry list format, everything in my brain is just so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so difficult to unclutter lately..
Homesick. I Visit Davie Often.
Joined A Music Ensemble. #tbttotheoledaysofplayingflute #piccolo #goowls(Fau)
Roommate is fine; she is quiet like me LOL. Thankfully we both commute to work /both have cars tho I couldn't care less if she didn't she could hitch rides with me(turnoff for me personally is someone who is undisciplined and in general anyone who projects himself/herself as clingy person) and have our social lives outside of each other- we get along. WE just coexist, and that's fine;; hehe what about the suitemates you ask? well *sighs* that's another story and that's outside my locus of control.
Aye change is so damn hard.. I don't like also that I keep taking on (all simultaneously) commitments and then dropping them. (serving, joining extracurricular student government like o'le high school days, stopping violin lessons by paying my last installment of violin lessons with my teacher, not showing up to group lessons, vowing to work on hair maintenance and then failing haha, controlling acne on my face). I have called a break from my piano student but still haven't followed up with her..and she's patient ( and s/o to the myer(s) both the student and tiger mom love you..)
Been full time student until yesterday, I was stressed out, so now I'm 3/4 time student.
Guiding the other employees(not manager nor boss but a "trainer") like what a leader does...if you don't know what "leader means" you encouraged to look it up in the "webster's dictionary" or "webster online" pretty fine considering that I lowered the frequency I show up to work since it's far from school and so busy with school.
Humility, confused but rebuked on the definition of that God has been showing me a great deal of it. And refining the concept of that. Praise God.
And also there has been a hole in my heart, I haven't felt this numb since my relationship (breakup I mean) with my ex 2013.
I Have A Block of scripture to encourage with y'all and it's something that God is reinforcing In My Depths Of Brokenness:
"v.16 but the face of the Lord is against those who is evil, to blot out their name from the Earth v17 the righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles v18 The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
-Psalms 34:16-18 NIV
Let's take a look at this. Keywords "to blot out their" "against" "delivers" "all their troubles" "in spirit", these are words given to the believer who is on his walk (however long and is going through trials-may I even interject and say, that this may imply that this is "treacherous" and "muddy" but the keywords I pulled out from this scripture that the believer never ever lost his/her "salvation" and is in Christ...nothing that God's children does can ever pull him/her away from God as long as they had that authentic holy spirit to begin with. Anyway let's take a look at the commentary: they offered that with the hardships and struggle one was going through its none in comparison (the length of duration) of the arrival of the ultimate destination-"heaven". The bible character in verse 16 is also heavily coming upon "discontentment"..and the the facial expression is very evident on his face. And the commentary's mention of "nigh" must be referring to the followup of the moment of truth despite the crushed state of the bible character--> product is the believer (God's child) humility being taken under dock to God's hands. The commentary continues and says "God's providence" is moving towards the people (holy spirit believers) whose obedience that naturally outflows from the "crushed spirits's will in long-run be blessed. THE hard trying times that comes with the long race in honoring and following Jesus propels us to give up, YET as we die to ourselves and surrender ourselves to his will we are operating in to God's glory/see his glory unfold itself and doing our job equipping in his kingdom. I tip my hat off to you, thank you for striving to live your lives like Christ. I also tip my off to those who haven't been saved because I want to.
The key is this, whatever you are going through, do not lose hope- Phillippians 2:14-15 "Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people."
references (MLA):
Biblegateway. 2015. Web. Accessed 05 Sept 2016.
BibleHub. 2004 Web. Accessed 05 Sept 2016
Monday, July 25, 2016
Add-on to the article about being Chinese American-
"My hope is built on nothing less
then Jesus's hope and righteouness"
So my sister while I was fb-calling her, She was telling me the other articles she had written and just then, I had mentioned to her that I was reading her blog:
"Really?" She asked
"Yep." I replied
"Did you read the one about me being chinese-american?" She commented "that one's I felt was so cathartic as I was typing that piece of work out"
" No, but Cool, I have to check that article out" I reassured her.
Here is the link to my sister's blog post: http://bit.ly/29P8dQo She is India right now currently enduring a service project affiliated with her university called "Duke Engage" So WELL-written. Read? Feel free to.
I do want to zoom in on the filial side of "respect" that the Asian culture ingrains us 2nd generation peeps so deeply. Read more in the "And so I kissed the insincerity goodbye" it doesn't fit the theme where the rest of the article is written, but there's a raw human perspective lens I would like to point out.
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